Buy it: Overwhelmed by YellowMelle
Last night, my favorite person on the Internet told me to unsubscribe from his blog. Twice.
Last night, I didn’t want to hear him.
Maybe that’s why humans need so much sleep. To shut down, so we can learn the lessons we need to learn. But let me back up a bit.
First, the players:
Karol Gajda of Ridiculously Extraordinary, aka my favorite person on the Internet. Karol is a good person to know. He just may be the most supportive person I’ve ever met. Karol gives encouragement…lots of it. But he’s also not afraid to give a smack down…especially when you’re making excuses. Take a look at the way he responds to comments, and you’ll see what I mean.
Marie Forleo, Laura Roeder, Danielle LaPorte, Alexis Neely…and pretty much the entire Internet. I’m on the lists of all those people. I’ve bought training from Laura and Danielle, and I love, love, love their stuff.
But, yesterday, I pretty much threw a tantrum after getting one too many e-mails about Rich, Happy & Hot B-School.
Act I: I embarrass myself over e-mail.
Naturally, being super into self-sabotage, I directed this tantrum at Karol. I do NOT recommend doing this ever. Ever, ever. I am incredibly lucky this story has a happy ending (spoiler!).
Among other things, Karol told me this:
Unsubscribe from every e-mail list and blog you are currently subscribed to (including mine) and get to work.
Did I listen to Karol? Thank him for the advice?
Nope. That would be way too easy.
Instead, I did something else I don’t recommend. I argued with him.
Seriously. This is not smart. If you become friends with someone you admire, don’t waste their time complaining and rationalizing.
At this point in the evening, I happened to get really freaking lucky.
Instead of deciding I’m not worth his time any longer, Karol cut right through my rationalizations.
Too bad I’m stubborn. I still couldn’t hear him. I went to sleep. Still not listening. Still rationalizing.
Act II: But then…
This morning, I woke up, and I got it.
I’ve been abdicating my responsibility to control how much I take in – and subsequently how much energy I have left to produce.
It’s Marie and Laura’s job to promote the crap out of their program. It’s their job to enlist their friends to promote the crap out of their program.
It’s my job to cut off the stream when it becomes too much.
Marie and Laura provided an opt-out option for their e-mails (which I opted into, by the way). I chose not to use it. And then I chose to bitch about it.
Because I’m afraid.
I’m afraid to cut the stream. I’m afraid to miss some amazing opportunity that could change my life.
I’m afraid to unfollow you on Twitter, because OMG you might get offended.
I’m afraid to read fewer blogs, because I won’t be clued in.
I’m afraid of missing out.
And, so I am.
Act III: Getting to work.
I have guest posts to write. Marketing copy to finalize. Concepts to test.
Yet I’ve pretty much lost all my momentum in the last month. I set an end date at work, and promptly fizzled. Knowing that I’ll be self-employed in June took away my sense of urgency.
I’ve been feeling panicked about this crazy thing I’ve sent into motion, and I’m reverting to bad habits.
No more.
No one else can do this for me.
I’m getting back to work and trusting that my plan is a good one.
Is fear holding you back, too? Tell me in the comments. Let’s keep each other accountable
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YES,YES,YES and YES. I allowed B-School to really wig me out and I wrote a post complaining about. I was pretty diplomatic about it, admitting I was at fault for subscribing, but still not my best moment.
Still I have read a lot of posts about the hard sell launches going on. Not just B-School and a lot of people are upset. I think it is a struggle for many of us that are at different stages in building a business to stomach the hard sell especially when it comes from people appearing to drip money and make me feel less than if I won’t invest.
I would like to see something different begin to happen, and I think this launch season is a great catalyst. I want to be confident in my ability and know that I might need some help anyway.
I do have fears and I have issues around money I need to address, but I don’t strive for “Rich”. Why can’t striving for comfortable while doing meaningful work be enough?
Sigh…I am clearly not over this.
You are right about this though.
“No one else can do this for me.
I’m getting back to work and trusting that my plan is a good one.”
I think I’ll do that.
Thanks for a thoughtful post.
Thanks for your comment, Gwyn! I’ve certainly purchased my share of information products, but sometimes they’re just distractions. I think that may be the case for both of us in this case.
I found your post because of a retweet and I’m glad I clicked on the link!
Wow. I think you are saying out loud what a lot of people may think. I spend a lot of my time reading blogs to make sure I don’t miss anything, to be on Twitter to know what’s up, to read newsletters and read about all the launches there are right now (including all the emails from B-School).
While I do all of this, I don’t work for myself, I just waste my time. I mean, I love to read blogs but maybe I read too many. I enjoy receiving updates and newsletter from my favourite blogs but maybe I subscribed to too many. I must say I felt bad after each of the B-School emails because each time, I was asking myself: should I try to borrow money from the bank to invest in myself, they have everything, maybe I could be like that too. But I prefered not to, first because I don’t need everything, I just need enough to eat and sleep. And second because I realized that was stupid of me to think I should borrow money just because their marketing was so good.
Anyways, I loooove your post and I’ll be back on your blog!
I’m glad you clicked, too! I’m doing a gut check now with all my subscriptions, asking, “Does this really add something to my life/my business, or am I just reading because I ‘should.’” Let’s banish those shoulds from our lives!
As always, great insight.
I feel like this was permission for me to hit “unsubscribe” on a few newsletters, so I did. And I’m not done either.
Thank you for all your wonderful words.
Awesome!!
I’m also afraid I’ll miss out on something — I don’t subscribe to many emails, but my Google Reader is ridiculous. A tip I read a while back has really helped though — a folder designated as reference. I always mark as read, but the posts will still come up in search if I need them. I also have a folder for the blogs I absolutely want to read if I’m short on time.
But, overall, I’m constantly struggling to balance what I take in versus what I produce.
Lisa recently posted..Happy weekend
That’s a great tip — thanks for sharing it!
Thanks for this Brigitte.
I would like to point out that Laura is a friend, and amazing, and a very smart business person. What she espouses is top notch. But sometimes buying more training is not the answer.
Any time somebody e-mails me to ask if they should buy one of my *own* products I say no. It’s not because I don’t believe in my products. I just feel like when someone is questioning a purchase they’re either not ready for it or they already know most of what they need to know and they just haven’t taken action yet.
In any case, happy to help you out through your “tantrum.” ;)
Karol
Karol Gajda recently posted..Signal vs Noise or Is Technology Destroying Humanity
Perhaps tantrum is too strong a word. :)
Thinking about your comment here, I completely agree. When I purchase training, it’s to fill a skill gap that I’ve already identified. I am certain I will purchase training again, but not until I’ve worked through what I’ve already learned and can clearly identify an area that’s lacking.
gosh just this morning i received 2 emails that made me think i really have to unsubscribe to a lot of things. and i did. i’m reading their blogs anyway and those emails didn’t have anything else to offer. just now i don’t read much blogs because my situation here is just crazy ass at the moment and really. twitter is driving me insane right now. i just can’t handle new information every other second. on the one hand it’s bad but sometimes you just have to concentrate on your life and make your own experience. i cannot listen to people trying to teach me things at the moment. too much info. and i’m not afraid of missing anything anymore because i realized that all i miss is my own life. it became too much.
and the things i REALLY want to read because i consider them a part of my life… well… they will not be cut out.
thank you for sharing your view. i’m totally on the same page.
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“I just can’t handle new information every other second.”
Yes, this! The constant stream of information significantly diminishes my ability to actually finish something.
I feel like I could have written this post myself. Before I started my new blog around the beginning of the year, I was buying all kinds of e-books about blogging, making money online, etc. It’s not that I didn’t find them somewhat helpful, but a lot of it was just common sense.
I too wonder about what I expose myself to. When does information become clutter? I’m also getting tired of reading other people’s successes. It’s not that I begrudge them their success (I know it took a lot of hard work for them to get there), but I’m not there yet and it tends to be a bad reminder of what I’m not doing. I don’t need to be putting that much pressure on myself.
Still, change is difficult. I remind myself that it’s a process and not an end goal in itself.
Thanks for your comment, Susan. There is definitely a dosage factor at play in reading the experiences of others. I personally need a balance of people who inspire me with their stories and people who are right where I am.
HELL YES!! IM right there with you on this one sista! I had these very same thoughts last week and this week. And I have been toying with the push and pull you described.. that back and forth between fear and desire! I need this tonight. Im on those same lists you described and I needed to hear that I can push toward my own goals on my own without using their tools as a crutch based in fear.
THANK YOU for helping enable me! Im off to unsubscribe. And start working on MY lists, MY goals, MY craft!
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Yes, yes, Brigitte, more time for GUEST POSTS (hint, hint).
That’s the plan! Right now, I stop working around 10 and barely have time to post here. Can’t wait to get through all the other items I’m dying to do!