I’ve secretly been on a 4-month long personal project called “Operation Get Your Sass Back.”

It started back in March, when I realized I something was off. After being so careful not to become a slob when I left my job, I found myself looking at the clock and realizing I was still wearing pajamas at 2 p.m. I became reluctant to leave the house. I rarely laughed.

Around the same time, I got a call from an old friend, who didn’t recognize the timid, don’t-offend-anybody person I’d become.

In a misguided effort to tame my personality, I was disappearing.

It was the wake-up call I needed. Operation Get Your Sass Back was on.

My mission was simple. Through a series of small measures, I would override the internal scripts telling me to hid my uniquity.

I started dying my hair red again.

I stopped being so damn careful all the time.

I allowed some of the bounce to come back into my step.

Here’s what I learned after a decade of trying to tame my voice: Your uniquity is inescapable.

All that happens when you try to restrain the qualities that make you so inescapably you is you end up drinking too much at parties.

I couldn’t stop being so damn excitable without also diminishing the joy I feel every day. I can’t help that I’m distracted by shiny objects, unless I stop paying attention altogether.

I think we all inherently get this. Even personal development is a path not to change who you are but rather to accept it.

Yet, with our businesses, we get all bent out of shape trying to craft a unique selling proposition.

I have a collection of Moleskines filled with notes on what my business stands for, how I can differentiate my services from other PR people, and what my key messages should be.

I don’t think these exercises are misguided, but they miss the point.

Your business can’t help being unique, any more than you can.

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Collectively, your company’s culture, your customers and collaborators, and your values make up the uniquity of your business. You communicate that uniquity through the stories you tell, the customers you keep and the rules you make.

 Will you join me in declaring your uniquity?

This post is part of The Declaration of You’s Blog Lovin’ Tour, which I’m thrilled to participate in alongside over 100 other creative bloggers. Learn more – and join us! The Declaration of You will be published by North Light Craft Books this summer, with readers getting all the permission they’ve craved to step passionately into their lives, discover how they and their gifts are unique and uncover what they are meant to do!

I’m the type of woman that packs five pairs of shoes for a weekend getaway. I can never resist the urge to add “just one more thing” to my suitcase before I head to the airport. And I never leave the house without a sweater, because I never know if I’ll need it …even when it’s 95 degrees out like it is today.

So you’ll understand that this is hugely out of character: I’m packing for a three week trip to Europe, using just ONE carry-on backpack (plus a small satchel bag to hold my Kindle, camera and a Moleskine).

Instead of my standard five, I’m taking just two pairs of shoes. One to traipse about Paris, another to hike the Pyrenees.

I’m simplifying, so my luggage works for me, rather than being a pile of baggage weighing me down.

Which brings me to the point: Are you overstuffing your message — weighing it down with a bunch of extra crap you don’t really need?

The same compulsion that causes me to grab a cardigan, just in case, is wheedling away your resolve to deliver a concise (and powerful) message.

You’re concerned with making the right impression. You want to prepare for every contingency. You just love a turn of phrase and can’t bear to retire it.

When you try to make your message work for every situation or every customer avatar, you end up with nothing but mismatched ideas and a website bursting at the seams.

You’ve got so many choices you can’t put together a stellar outfit (I mean message).

What would it be like if you built in some constraints?

What if you narrowed your choices before sending your message out the door?

When I started to pack for my trip, the what if’s threatened to erode my resolve to limit my luggage to just one bag. I persevered and slowly came to understand that making decisions about what to pack and what to leave were easy. Every piece that went into my bag worked on at least two levels (day or night, with a skirt or with pants), and not a single item that doesn’t make me feel gorgeous made it into my pack.

I don’t need that pilled out cardigan. I can do without a fifth pot of eyeshadow.

It’s not about being practical, or even economical.

It’s about only showing up in your very best.

Focus on what really makes your business shine, and ditch the rest.

You’re finally ready to get your product out there, or to share your revolutionary productivity tips with the world, and you’ve decided a media feature is just the ticket. Congratulations! You are stepping into your power, and it looks good on you. Let’s pause here for just a moment to make sure you’re making the most of this opportunity.

When you approach a journalist to share your story or product, it’s imperative that you show her you’ve read her publication or watched her program.

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Read the newspaper or magazine. Watch the program. Listen to the station.

In other words, review the media you want to get. Here’s how you can win over a reporter in three easy steps:

Identify your target section. Take just a minute to glance at the Table of Contents to decide which section is the best home for your story. Let’s say you want to get a profile  in  your local paper. Before you pitch, make sure you let the reporter know that’s what you’re asking for, and call out the business section by its proper name. Don’t make assumptions, even for the most straight-forward topics. In the SF Chronicle, it’s Biz & Tech. In the Chicago Tribune, it’s just Business.

You would not believe how often people skip this step, which is why it stands out when you get it right.

Identify which type of story is being told. Compare the following list to the publication in front of you, and identify which story type is used in the section you’re targeting.

1. How tos
2. Lists and round-ups
3. Essays
4. Profiles
5. Features and trend stories

Of course, there’s also breaking news/investigative reporting, but most of us aren’t playing in this sandbox. Thankfully.

Once you know the story type, you can polish your pitch so a reporter can’t help but take a second look. For instance, in the Holiday Gift Guide Bootcamp, we’re focusing on product round-ups. By looking at an example, you can ascertain that your submission should include an image, your price point, a brief product description, and a link to buy.

On the other hand, a profile piece will focus on your big idea or a challenge you’ve overcome, so you’d want to lead with a story.

Get (and use) the name of your right-fit media contact. Sending a pitch to “To whom it may concern” or “Hi friend!” is a big no-no. Don’t do it! You absolutely, positively must send your email to an actual person and, for the love of chocolate, use his or her name.

If you find a byline on a story, that’s fab. If not, you have one last stop — the masthead. The masthead is the boring looking page listing every staffer working for the publication. Send your email to the person who seems to be lowest on the totem pole with direct responsibility for the section you’re targeting. So, if you’re pitching a health story, send your pitch to the assistant health editor.

These three steps make or break your pitch. When you fail to address your media contact by name and show no awareness of the type of stories she tells, you may save time, but you only succeed at one thing — pissing off a journalist.

On the flip side, follow my lead and you’ll show up as a valuable source — someone a journalist can turn to next time she’s on deadline.