Last week, Tara Gentile and I sat down and recording the kind of conversation (aided by some great questions from readers) we generally have over a couple glasses of wine.

She’s bringing me on board to teach the next two sessions of 10ThousandFeet, and this chat is an introduction of sorts, since her people don’t know me half as well as you do.

It’s geeky. It’s fun. And, yes, it’s really real. You can watch the video above, or download an audio-only version below. And scroll down to catch highlights from the conversation.

Download the audio-only version. (right-click then “save as”)

How does storytelling contribute to our bottom lines? (2:00)

“The stories we tell create the conditions our businesses are operating in.” — @brigittelyons http://bit.ly/P7eOsb Tweet it.

“Storytelling in business goes well beyond marketing.” — @taragentile http://bit.ly/P7eOsb Tweet it.

How do you launch a new product with energy & authenticity? (6:04)

“Allow yourself to nerd out about what makes you excited about your product.” — @brigittelyons http://bit.ly/P7eOsb Tweet it.

Wherein Tara gets vulnerable about telling stories about her clients (a total, and super sweet, surprise for me!) (7:16)

How do you build a relationship with people when ultimately you have an agenda to sell them something? (10:00)

“Everyone wants you to express an interest in the things that they are passionate about.” — @brigittelyonshttp://bit.ly/P7eOsb Tweet it.

“Just because you have something to gain in a relationship doesn’t mean you have an agenda.” — @taragentile http://bit.ly/P7eOsb Tweet it.

“Trust yourself as a whole person to bring what is most valuable to every relationship.” — @taragentile http://bit.ly/P7eOsb Tweet it.

What are your criteria for who you bring on to your team, who will be your mentors, and who you will partner with? (19:05)

“Vibe is so important.” — @brigittelyons http://bit.ly/P7eOsb Tweet it.

What are the top 3 things you can do to promote a new offering? (23:29)

“Give people the opportunity to say ‘yes’ to you.” — @taragentile http://bit.ly/P7eOsb Tweet it.

“Your inclination is ‘how can I help this person?’ not ‘how can I get out of this?’” — @brigittelyons http://bit.ly/P7eOsb Tweet it.

“Don’t assume that because the sales opportunity is over, that all opportunities are over.” — @taragentile http://bit.ly/P7eOsb Tweet it.

“Always assume people are interested.” — @brigittelyons http://bit.ly/P7eOsb Tweet it.

What are our predictions for future online business trends? (32:31)

“Businesses are starting to reorganize themselves to create value instead of just making a splash on the online stage.” — @taragentile Tweet it.

“Online businesses are following the wider trend of being more intentional.” — @brigittelyons http://bit.ly/P7eOsb Tweet it.

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A lot of people write about the fear inherent in launching — What if my course doesn’t fill or my product doesn’t sell? This kind of anxiety falls into the same category as public speaking or even tripping on the sidewalk and landing on your face. It feels, rightly or wrongly, like a very public embarrassment.

But what about the other, deep unease that your process won’t work and no one will get results. That creeping anxiety that you’re not enough.

That’s the fear that gets me. Even though I taught media relations last summer in the beta run of Your Media Map. Even though people got results. I couldn’t shake the terror that Your Media Map wouldn’t work.

I spent the first 6 weeks of the course trying to come to terms with it.

With a lot of help from my friends, I came to understand I wasn’t responsible for the success of my students. This meant the obvious, I can’t control what they do with the knowledge I give them, and the not-so obvious, Whatever success they enjoy is theirs alone.

I am simply the facilitator. Just as I shouldn’t take failure to act as an indictment of my course, I also can’t claim their wins as my own.

The fact that Lindsay has already landed coverage in wedding blogs.

And Deborah now crafts pitches with perfection (journalists eat them up).

And how Grace has gotten such a warm reception she’s hoping to parlay her newfound relationships into paid writing gigs.

If these women hadn’t found me, they still would’ve achieved all this. They would’ve found someone else to show them the way.

Lindsay, Grace, Deborah and the rest of the participants in Your Media Map were all looking to become better known for their work. They were all looking for someone like me.

Your marketing exists to make sure your customer finds you, not someone like you.

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Whether it’s the perfect accessory, stationery she loves sending back home to mom, or a plush toy for the new kiddo in the family…

Your customer is looking for you.

Don’t let fear keep you from being found.

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Every so often, I share a behind-the-scenes glimpse on how I choose to run my business. Because this post is also about marketing best practices, I decided to post it publicly.

Today, I want to talk to you about the most important principle of running your own business.

Staying true to your strengths.

Most of us opted out of corporate life, because we're driven, and we have a sense we can do it better. I left the agency life, because I'm a workaholic, who'd rather work her ass off for herself than a boss, and I can't stand the hourly billing model.

I bet you have a similar story.

But then you go into the crazy world of self employment, and you start to see ALL the ways this crazy thing can be done. You start taking courses and talking to other people, many of whom feel so much more successful than you.

Before you know it, you stop fueling your business with your strengths  You co-opt someone else's model.

I'm incredibly diligent about not letting this happen, yet it happens all the time.

Take my friend Kate. We couldn't be more different, when it comes to our work preferences. I work when I feel like it, including weekends and evenings and holidays. Kate structures her week and rarely, if ever, works on the weekend.

I thought about Kate a lot in the past month. Some people noticed I went silent. What happened is this: I took my first real vacation in 2 years. I didn't write content ahead of time; I didn't pre-schedule Tweets. I just stopped.

It was amazing.

Kate, on the other hand, is an advocate of digital sabbaticals. I didn't actually take a digital sabbatical, since I still checked email when I felt like it (not often), and posted images to Instagram. When she goes offline, girl commits.

You'd never know it, though, because Kate schedules content and Tweets. 

As the days lengthened, I thought of Kate and wondered if I should have used her approach.

But that wouldn't be me being me. It'd be me playing at Kate.

I'm workaholic of a particular type. I give myself permission to work as long as I like, whenever I like. And to completely stop when I need to. 

My work doesn't ebb and flow over the course of days. It's more like months or an entire year.

So when I decided to take my first proper vacation since I launched my business, I really broke.

It was awesome.

Now I'm back, and I am dying to get some new content (and a bootcamp!) out to you.

But, and this is a really important but, this is just my way.

You stay true to you.

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